1:45 a.m.

Living in the world with Covid-19

Don’t think I can survive this quarantine

It’s 1:45 a.m. and I am writing

This is me and my anxiety fighting

I haven’t slept in a month and I am not fine

I know it definitely is the sign

Need to call my therapist and sort my scene

But there comes social distancing

Skype calls wouldn’t be a big help honey

I need to still shell out the money

Bars are shut and no one wants to work out

I am so worried, I want to scream and shout

This self-employment will be my doom

Thinking working for a corporate will be a boon

Salary, work from home and insurance

A life that gives me assurance

I decide will get my resume out

And then realize the economy will definitely be dead after this bout

No jobs or companies that hire

What a mess we are in sire!

The gym is shut and I need those bars

The 4 packs gone and replaced by tyres

I stare at the mirror and look at my self

Remind myself that I am the one who helps

I know what needs to be done

Work out is always so much fun

But this anxiety will be my death

Heart thumping and the sweat

Wake up to a panic and ignore through the day

How long would this last, who can actually say?

Our son is losing his mind cooped with us

Fights every 5 minutes without listening first

TV, games and Harry Potter

Only if these days could go faster

I don’t know what to do with him

Being a successful mother, surely looks grim

I want to lock myself, I want to go out

Then I remember my life has been this, without a doubt

No social life, no parties

No friends to share the Bacardi

Social distancing didn’t make a dent

This is how my days were spent

With no work now and school visits

What I get is 4 hours at the best

Enough to worry and remember shit

All the heartbreaks and the relationships that never fit

“She shouldn’t have said that”

“And I shouldn’t have fought”

“Who is he to treat me like that?”

“I should have punched his face and not fall flat”

Thoughts like this run through my mind

Only if peace is what I could find

Maybe it’s not the pandemic, maybe it’s me

Time for the shrink visit, I need to see

Atleast my doggy loves I am home

Cuddles all day, the way love is shown

It’s 2:15 a.m. now and I need to sleep

My anxiety will wake me in 4 hours without a beep

Wake up Deepika, your world is crumbling down

But you got to smile through it without a frown

Image credit: http://www.health.harvard.edu

One Comment Add yours

  1. Amal Goteti says:

    Expresses my anxiety too. Thank you.

    Like

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