Why the shame?!

“Why do you care if it’s fries? You are so skinny. You can eat as much as you want!”

“Do you even eat?”

“Why do you need to work out? You’ll disappear!!”

These are the standard questions I get. In person, on social media, everywhere. And trust me, these aren’t oh, I am concerned questions. These are asked with a big bag of sarcasm, with a sly smile on their faces. Honestly, most of the times I want to punch away their sarcasm. But, then I remind myself that they actually might not have the knowledge. So, I am going to start with trying to answer these questions here peacefully.

No! I cannot eat as much as I want. I should care about deep fried food. And you should too. Being skinny has nothing to do with being healthy. Even skinny people can have high cholesterol, high blood pressure or sugar. And fortunately, I have no interest in getting any of these diseases and so I choose to eat healthy as often as I can.

Do I even eat? What kind of fucking dumb question is that? What do you expect me to say? “Surprise! I am a fucking android and I don’t eat!” Of course, I eat. And I fucking love eating. Do I stuff my face like a hobo who has seen food after a week? If that’s your definition of eating, then no. I do not.

I’ll disappear? Really? I mean REALLY???? Fuck, I wish! A little secret. Being thin doesn’t mean you are fit. Working out is about being fit. When someone works out to lose weight, their target should be to get fitter and healthier and that is a lifelong process. You can’t work out for the summer or for the wedding season and then binge on burgers and gelato. Ok?

Now that I have answered the questions, let me come to the crux of the matter.

Why? Why this constant scrutiny? Comparison? Body shaming? Why this need to conform to a single body type?

We all are made differently. Anatomically and to an extent even physiologically. There is no perfect body type. Everyone wants to turn into a clone of whoever they think is perfect. How the fuck is that possible? And where’s the beauty in that?!!

Either women are being fat shamed or skinny shamed. It’s wrong to be curvy. It’s wrong to be not. I mean who the fuck decided this? And why are we all, like a herd of sheep blindly following it?

Some are big boned, some have a narrow body type. And if that wasn’t enough, some of us struggle with hormonal issues, like Hypo and Hyperthyroidism wrecking our metabolism. And then motherhood. One of the most beautiful times of our lives (for those who are crazy enough to want it) and we are constantly worrying about losing that weight. We might be fucking idiots but nature isn’t. There is a reason why we put on weight. And by rushing to lose it all, you are harming your and your baby’s health. Given, you have put on a healthy amount of weight during your pregnancy and weren’t “eating for two” which is the favorite tip of all Indian moms and mom in laws.

I won’t get into the discussion of what does it mean or take to be fit and healthy and where we are going wrong. Let’s keep that for some other day. Today it’s about acceptance. Accepting oneself and others around us.

The large number of caustic comments I get are from people who would like to lose weight. Atleast that’s what they claim or put across as. Why? By putting me down, did you shed some pounds? I think not. If we did, this world would be a meaner place than it already is. If you want to lose/gain weight or tone up for reasons of fitness and healthy living, ask. Ask somebody you think is doing so. Don’t mock them because you feel insecure (I am taking a wild guess here) Ask them for their hacks, tips, plans and you might hit the jackpot. Again, what works for them, might not necessarily work for you.

This is not just about me or women. I have seen some male friends shaming others. They are quick to notice the little bulge of fat or the double chin on the other, while completely ignoring their own appearance. Almost like they are trying to hide behind someone else’s shortcomings.

First know yourself. Love yourself and try to be the best you can be and not be a carbon copy of someone you idolize to be. Don’t want a flatter ab, bigger butt, or bulging biceps cause that’s what media worships. I too want those washboard flat abs like most people out there. Because I want to wear a bodycon dress or a bikini without it sticking out. (Thank god, I don’t want a big butt. It would look ridiculous on my tiny frame.) I work hard for it, follow the right diet and workout regime to get it. I still have a long way to go. But, I am also aware that it’s impossible to have the body shown by Victoria’s angels I keep coming across on Instagram, and sustain it while trying to live a normal life. And, why should I? I don’t have to, and I love my biryani and old monk!

So, stop shaming and comparing and start accepting what you have, and put in some effort if you want to get better. And yeah, by the way, if you don’t hear me say, “You look like you have been eating a lot”, don’t ask me if I eat at all.




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