Today is my friend’s birthday. And, this is my birthday gift to her. Well, it’s a gift that was demanded. J
I think it’s great. Asking for something you know, you want. What better gift is there than getting that? And, it makes me happy, that she is comfortable enough to ask me.
I have never been someone who could ask and demand. Well, of course excluding the times when I am the boss. I hate making anyone feel that they are obligated to do something for me. If they care about me and love me, they should want to do something by themselves, right? Wrong! It’s unfair to expect and think that. Maybe they suck at planning, (After all no one can be as great at it as I am!) maybe they aren’t sure what you would like or maybe (the majorities) are so wrapped up in their own lives that they do not notice and realize.
I have tried spelling it out what I felt, expected and wanted a couple of times in my life. It didn’t really work out well. Maybe I wasn’t very clear or my choice of the people I shared it with was wrong. I have this horrible habit of imprinting. I hate to use this term, especially after the movie Twilight. When Jake talks about imprinting on Bella’s daughter, it reminded me of a dog peeing on a tree to mark his territory. But, this being a real, logical, scientific term, I am gonna go ahead with it.
So, sometimes, for reasons unknown I get extremely attached to certain people. I become dedicated, committed and loyal to a fault. I remember telling one of such friends once, that even if he committed a murder one day, I will stand by him. I might not approve of it, I will give him hell (a torturous, private hell) but I will hold his hand and stand with him when the world is against him. Its’s almost impossible for me to give up on such relationships. The only way it can happen is either when hell freezes over or when the person turns out to be an absolute a****** and a d*** of the first order. Fortunately, I have come across a few such j****. After all, you do need people like this to jolt you back to reality. To slam you down, sucker punch you and to open up your eyes.
Luckily I still do have a few people in my life who have reciprocated my love and loyalty. Unfortunately, they are scattered all over the world and I get to see and talk to them once in a while. But, all your relationships in life can’t and shouldn’t be this passionate and intense. This is the minority. You have to fill your life with positive, happy and grounded people. People who get where you are at, if they don’t, they try to.
Meet my band of bros. I was introduced to them through some other common friends. We had a crazy first year. Going out almost every weekend, partying till the sun came up (not exactly, a few hours before that but, this sounds better. 😉 ) I loved it! I had been home for more than three years through my pregnancy, child’s birth and his early growing years. I am someone who enjoys dressing up and getting out and dancing the night away. Most of my friends love staying home and having a few drinks. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing it too but being at home for years, I wanted to get out. And, like me almost all my other friends were caught up with their families and babies. I was thrilled to make new friends who enjoyed the same things I did.
The second year was crazier than that. My life went through a huge turmoil, I was spun 360 degrees and thrown flat on my face. Relationships I thought to be the essence of my life, abandoned me and walked away at the first sign of trouble. Life as I knew, ceased to exist. But, my band of bros stayed on. I might not have shared my troubles with them. I might not have asked them for help. But, they saw me go through the struggle, saw me go insane and manic about things which made no sense. They might not have agreed with what I was saying or doing but they gave me the benefit of doubt.
Except for during my masters, I have never had my group of girlfriends. I can easily relate to and get along with boys. I have never actively sought out for girlfriends. I did make a lot of great friends who were women, but it happened by chance. I was happy to be a guy’s girl. I miss my group from my Masters, I can’t wait to have a little reunion with them soon. But, I didn’t realize how much a woman needs other women to understand her and just be there, no questions asked till I got my band of bros.
I was recently at a party (hosted by a new but super close girlfriend) and met a lot of new people. And, later in the night in a conversation, when I was slightly (ahem) high, I said that I need to hangout with friends of my own age cause everybody I meet nowadays was there in their 20s. Someone sounded surprised and slightly offended/upset at that. But, it’s true. I am not saying I didn’t have fun. I had a great time and met some wonderful people. But, here I am not talking about making new acquaintances, I am talking about my band of bros.
We are all at similar places in life. Been through a lot, but holding our heads up high and moving on. We are secure, positive, happy women. Not like we don’t have our insecurities. After all we are human. But, we are secure in our insecurities. You know what I mean? We know what we are, who we are and what we are capable of. We make mistakes, we do some very stupid things, and we do fall down in the pits sometime. But, we get up, brush the dirt off our shoulders, laugh at our stupidity, learn from our mistakes and come out as better people.
I might not go to them when I am going through a dark time. I might not share what I am feeling. That’s because of the person I am. But, they are my bros and I know they will be there when I need them. I know I wouldn’t have to explain. They will get it that I want to be happy, cheer me up and just be the simple silly girls that we are. And I am going to be there for them. Always.
I am going to go out tonight to celebrate this crazy girl’s birthday. I haven’t decided what I am going to wear, I don’t care about my bushy baby bear like arms, my angry caterpillar eyebrows or my unpainted toes.
Cause you know?
I am going out with my bros.